• Tonight's theme was Club Classics, so we had dancing girls, staging tricks and floor-fillers from down the decades
• The judges squabbled and Gary Barlow got shouted down
• Who will follow Melanie Masson and Carolynne Poole out of the contest tomorrow?
22.20 For me, the night's standout acts were Ella Henderson, James Arthur and Kye Sones. At risk tomorrow? Well, it could be any of the groups, Rylan Clark or Christopher Maloney. We'll see on the results show, tomorrow at 8pm. Thanks for your company and comments tonight. You've been shemazing and gorge-oise. Goodnight.
22.15 So there we have it. A few last Tweets...
@realsharhorgan I think without Tulisa's chats, Ella would be lost
@couchpotatoadam An actual Club Classic? I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS
@rickontour Well, if Adele tweeted Ella Henderson, I'm going to tweet that James Arthur chap #youlooklikeme
22.13 Louis says "she's got the X Factor". Tulisa says, "Who knew you could do uptempo? Owwwwwww." Strewth, that was annoying.
22.12 Gary thought the dance steps "cheapened her act". The other judges shout him down.
22.11 Ella's going to be doing some actual dancing this week, which should be interesting. Well, it's more sort of wiggling and semaphore. She's singing You've Got The Love. With her hair straightened and the bellowing, it's made her slightly identikit. Still got some pipes on her, though, and she's confident moving around the stage.
22.08 And now - some cynics might say "at last" - it's the final act of the evening: bookie's favourite Ella Henderson. She's a "ballid" specialist, so how will she fare in Club Classics week?
22.05 And a few more missives from the modern-fangled thingy they call "Twitter"...
@lilyrosecooper Lucy Spraggan really reminds me of a young me
@charliecondou Lucy Spraggan puts me in mind of a young Robbie Williams. But butch
@stebax "Can we just have five minutes in private? But I'll wear my mic. And you can film it"
@lovelylisaj I bet Gary used to play back Jason Orange's flat notes to him :(
22.02 Louis Walsh is reminding me of Father Ted tonight. It might be the silvery hair and rollneck. That would be an ecumenical matter.
22.01 Tulisa says they had a "kick up the butt". Gary says they're "a revelation". Nicole says something about babyoil. At least it's not balls.
21.59 They're doing Beggin' by Madcom. Bowties and braces are involved. Oh Christ, it's another mash-up. CAN EVERYONE PLEASE STOP MASHING UP?
21.56 Penultimate act tonight is District 3. Aka the boyband without a good-looking one.
21.55 Judges loved it. Dermot loved Nicole's "switcheroo". Dermot also says Gary "hit Kye with the stick rather than the carrot". Shame, I'd have liked to see backstage footage of Gary Barlow hitting someone with a carrot.
21.53 That was Save The World by Swedish House Mafia. A few sound problems and then Nicole does a classic delayed double bluff. "I so wanted that performance to be epic... And it was!"
21.52 Another performance that's about as clubby as a cream tea. Kye is sitting at a piano. You know, like clubbers do in the clubs.
21.51 His week got even rougher when Gary Barlow went through last week's performance saying "Flat... Flat... Flat". He said this 32 times, apparently. Imagine how much will to live you'd have lost by, say, the late 20s.
21.50 Kye Sones next. He's had flu. You know what that means, people: A ROUGH WEEK.
21.49 Rylan's friends and family in the crowd there. Just as annoying as him, it seems.
21.46 Some more of your Tweet reactions...
@roughestatemate I feel sorry for 15-year-old lads these days. Having to secure a heavy, sweeping fringe is a full-time responsibility.
@brokenbottleboy "... if that makes sense". Nicole, for reference, you can never use that as a rejoinder to your burbling.
@lazbatron Rylan is probably my favourite David Walliams character.
@petepaphides The more Gary wants to use X Factor as a means by which to discover a new Ed Sheeran, the more I want Rylan to win.
21.42 "You're an artist, a musician, a storyteller," says Tulisa. "A mime artist, a milkman, a sous chef, a loss adjuster." I may have made the last few up.
21.40 Gary tries to pronounce the word "innovative", with only partial success. But he liked it, made it your own, owned the stage, you know the drill. Nicole says she's made of tea, toast and titanium. Which is a varied breakfast.
21.39 She's performing Titanium by David Guetta (him again). In the style of a busker. Who pulls a weird face during the high notes.
21.38 Lucy's sob story seems to be that she went out on a drinking binge with Rylan. Less of a sob story, more of a punishment.
21.37 Next up it's Lucy Spraggan. You'll never guess what? SHE'S HAD A TOUGH WEEK.
21.35 Gary does his Scrooge thing. Nicole defends her Frankenstein-like creation, saying he's the only act who danced this week and looked "gorge-oise". The judges then keep shouting "Two words!" at each other, like teenagers down the back of a nightbus
21.34 Triumph of style over substance, as the vocals are like someone singing into their hairbrush but the stage production distracted us just enough. Tulisa nicknames Rylan "my little Babybel". Served with Little Muffins.
21.31 He's had his man-scaped beard removed this week. Still looks like he's modelled from orange plastic, though. He's doing another medley affair, while mincing about in an outfit like a sort of sci-fi American footballer. Who's being a wedding waiter at weekends.
21.30 And now it's the TOWIE mannequin. General Zod with a sunbed: Rylan Clark.
21.28 Crikey, is it I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here time of the year already? Where did the autumn go?
21.24 "Wikkid" says Tulisa. "We're witnessing the birth of a brand new boyband" says Gary, but he wants more harmony. Nicole wanted "more energy, it's not a ballad". Or a "ballid", as Tulisa would have it.
21.20 Union J sounds like a provincial casualwear store and they're dressed like that, all leather and denim. They're singing Love Takes Over by David Guetta feat Kelly Rowland. It's a contractual obligation that someone has to sing this each series, it seems, but they're doing a decent job of it, while sparks fall behind them.
21.19 Next up it's the better of the two boybands: Union J, aka The Other Direction.
21.16 Not as good as diver Tom Daley's version but pretty good. Louis Walsh trots out ye olde "you're what this show's all about" line. Gary says it was "the performance of the series so far". Nicole says "he has passion in his pants and he ain't afraid to show it". DON'T MENTION BALLS.
21.15 James is singing Sexy And I Know It by LMFAO. He's standing stock-still, all in black, with his accoustic guitar, with an elaborate stage set involving red lights and leopardskin-clad dancing girls. It's like Johnny Cash on a stag do in Amsterdam. In quite a good way.
21.12 He had an anxiety attack after last week's performance, it seems. Poor fellow. His mentor Nicole's sympathetic, as she was with Jahmene. I get the impression she's a better mentor than she is a judge.
21.11 Poor Dermot has to do a QVC segment about all the various phonelines, downloads and apps. And now we're into the next act: James Arthur. Guess what? He's had a rough week.
21.08 A Tweet just in:
@zx_spectrum_30 Was Jahmene dressed as a tin of Heinz Baked Beans?
21.07 The judges are on squabbly form tonight, aren't they? All seem to be getting their excuses in early, too. Every act's had a "rough week" so far for one reason or another.
21.03 "Safe but you covered up your vocal trouble quite well" says Gary. Nicole wanted her to "own it more", then rambles on rather a lot. Louis says there was "no energy or passion". Tulisa gets a bit aggro and does her glassy-eyed "don't mess" look.
21.02 She's singing You're Free by Ultra Nate - a club diva number, which is ambitious with a a dodgy voice. Indeed, she's struggling with the big notes but putting on a decent show in a hot pink harem pantsuit affair.
21.01 Jade's had some throat trouble this week and been resting her voice all week. She had to communicate with choreographer Brian Friedman via an iPad. Which is probably preferable to talking to him, come to think of it.
21.00 Next up it's Jade Ellis. Or to use her full name, Single Mum Jade Ellis.
20.55 A couple more Tweets:
@mikestockmusic If you're gonna be cheese, Tulisa, it's better to be Stilton than Babybel. Don't like either act but if you're going to be cheese, be the best
@dianawitter Jahmene's dressed like 95% of the people on my 2002 Archaeology & Ancient History degree course. This is not a good thing
20.54 Nicole talks about Jahmene's "big balls". A fortnight ago, he had to "grow a pair". Now he's got big ones. SHE'S OBSESSED WITH HIS BALLS.
20.52 Louis says he's "loike a little Ray Charles". Tulisa says he's "absolutely adorable". Jahmene's blubbling. Gary tells him not to move round the stage so much because it was "clumsy". Louis gets a bit shouty in response.
20.50 No mashing or upping so far. He's doing the warbly Mariah Carey thing but it's a tad pedestrian, until he gets to the crazy ad libs at the end.
20.49 He's singing Say A Little Prayer, which doesn't seem terribly clubby. Do I smell an impending mash-up?
20.48 Next up is Jahmene Douglas, who's been in the tabloids all week, what with his virginity and traumatic childhood - abusive father, brother who committed suicide... Sure, a sob story, but a true, deeply sad one. And he's so sweet and natural, it's hard to be cynical about it.
20.47 They started overground. They finished underground. They wombled free. Pick that litter up.
20.46 Tulisa thinks it was "on point" (as always) but didn't like Simeon's take on Tinie's "massive rap". A song of two halves. "These mash-ups, no need for them," agrees Gaz Baz. "Fricking shamazing," says Nicole. "No more Mouseketeers." The new Kelly Rowland, you say? She PUT IT DOWN.
20.43 More like it this week, with a "mash-up" (I fear we might be using that phrase a lot tonight) of Crystal Waters' Gypsy Woman and Tinie Tempah's Pass Out.
20.42 Second act tonight is MK Dons! Sorry, MK1! I rather like this duo but they've been rather stitched up by Louis Walsh's dodgy song choices so far.
20.38 Bad reaction to that performance on Twitter too:
@mrchrisaddison BREAKING NEWS: world's biggest lottery win spent on sprucing up karaoke night at local pub. Oh no, hang on. It's just X Factor
@spencermillman Christopher says he's not a dancer. I'll give you a big clue, mate: you're not a singer either
@henryholland "Disco" and "suit" do not go in the same sentence. Looks like old school Barrymore
20.34 Great bit of honesty from Tulisa, at least, who says it was cheesy and she "doesn't get it". Gary's on the ropes - you can tell because he falls back on ye olde "people's choice" description of his act and urges "Liverpool" to pick up the phone. Like Liverpool is a person. With a phone.
20.33 Nicole Scherzinger says he's "a warm cheese toastie". "Leave it!" barks Gary Barlow. Louis Walsh rambles on about 1988 - Seaside Special, 7-inch singles, powdered egg, Muffin The Mule.
20.32 Maloney keeps being told he's a cruise ship singer and that Butlin's-esque performance didn't help. Nor the shiny grey suit.
20.31 First act is Christopher "Chris" Maloney, singing Waiting For A Star To Fall. This is fairly awful. Gary couldn't lose another act, could he?
20.29 It's Club Classics Week, with a brilliant dance routine from host Dermot O'Leary - acrobatics, splits, backflips. And, er, an amusingly obvious body double. Good work, Dermy. Right, it's time! To face! Two hours of deeply patchy music with a dance beat!
20.15 Good evening all, I'm Michael, your X Factor liveblogger this evening. I'll be accompanying you through another two hours of booming voiceovers, judgely squabbles and high-budget karaoke. It promises to be an intriguing night, as the 11 singers adapt their styles to fit the "Club Classics" theme - which some will find harder than others. It's showtime at 8.20pm, so please join me.
And join in too – you can email me on email@example.com, tweet me @michaelhogan or leave comments at the bottom of this blog. I'll do my best to keep an eye on them and report the highlights. It's nearly time! To face! The dodgy disco muuuuusic!